I received a letter from father telling me to record my thoughts and dreams.
I do not know why he would want to know but, I must follow his instructions.
Yesterday night, I wandered into the Dream Plain in my sleep. I could not control my actions and soon I found myself lost.
The Dream Plain was colder than usual; the normally white-gray surroundings shadowed into charcoal. I could feel the essences of my classmates fade as I walked, I could not stop myself, I felt a pull in a direction and I could not break away from it.
The Demon of Dream Plain coaxed me into myself; I saw all my fears and pains projected. Memories of training, pain, abuse, and Dezerai's tears from when he was younger. I was so afraid and cold. I was yanked and thrown through my memories till I was filled with shame and blind fury. I clawed at my arms and screamed till I was released.
The Demon abandoned me then, left me in the stretch of charcoal. I could not locate my own essence or the essence of any other living creature. I could not wake. I felt maddened with fear.
I ran till I located my essence, my feet raw and bleeding, and my arms bleeding from where I had clawed the skin off.
I managed to wake and despite my best efforts, I could not contain the tears that spilled from my eyes. I had not cried for years. I have disappointed father once again.
There is no excuse, but, I was afraid and cold. I was so very, very cold. I did not sleep again, only clutch myself and cry till my throat was raw. My sheets were stained with blood from my feet and arms. I do not know why the Demon attacked me yesterday. I do not know.
I am not allowed to cry. I have broken a rule. I should be punished; father will be displeased when he reads this.
I miss home. I miss Dezerai.
But, I must persevere; I must learn how to control the Dream Plain.
Because next time, I may not find my way back.